“Bettman has only a marginal interest in the weaker teams. He only wants the NHL to make a bigger profit as a whole.” -- Dominik Hasek

July 7, 2007

Sabres To Oilers: "Bring It"

The Sabres are getting low on talent. They lost Chris Drury and Daniel Briere to the free agent market, and up-and-coming talent Thomas Vanek is a restricted free agent with a big-spending suitor. Edmonton made a ridiculous 7-year, $50 million offer for Vanek, which included four first round draft picks to Buffalo because of Vanek's status as restricted.

As already discussed, the Sabres stupidly matched the offer, and will likely retain Vanek's services. But Sabres' management is not happy about the ordeal, not one bit. Says managing partner Larry Quinn, while stomping his feet and pouting:

"As it comes to the Edmonton Oilers, if there is an opportunity for us to put an offer sheet on a player at any time--as long as we're alive -- we'll be very comfortable in doing that. And they can expect it, if it's in our best interest."

Take that, you meanie heads.

Quinn and the Sabres have apparently taken great offense to Edmonton's completely legal and permitted offer to Vanek, and are probably a little put-out that they now have to pay a relatively unproven young player a crap ton of money for a very long time. But if they really wanted to hit the Oilers below the belt, they would have let Vanek go.

Huh? It's simple: the Sabres are now far less deep in talent than they were last season, and will likely suffer for a couple of years as the seventh or eighth best team in the East. Instead, they could have let Vanek go, gone into a rebuilding period immediately and enjoyed EIGHT first round picks over the next four seasons. There's no better way to rebuild a franchise than to draft high and often. Considering that half those draft picks would be coming from Edmonton, who would have Vanek as their only true star player, those picks would likely be in the top ten each year.

Edmonton would be the loser by far if they sign Vanek to a bloated, way-too-long contract with the additional loss of four draft picks. They'd take a large chunk out of their salary cap, have no young prospects out of what are predicted to be several consecutive strong draft classes in the coming years, and would probably just trade him away for nothing in the end anyway---just like they did with Ryan Smyth.

Instead of whining and crying about it, the Sabres should just let Vanek go and be confident in the fact that a few seasons from now, they'll be far stronger and more talented than the pathetic Oilers and their genius GM Kevin Lowe.

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July 6, 2007

Thomas Vanek Is One Hot Piece Of Hockey Tail



Thomas Vanek must be great in bed. Or at least, he must be great in the locker room, since Edmonton and Buffalo just got done fighting over him. Buffalo will re-sign the up-and-coming-but-still-kind-of-unproven young Vanek, but not without oodles of controversy.

Apparently, Kevin Lowe, universally-admired GM of the Oilers, temporarily went totally f-cking bat sh-t crazy and decided to make a 7-year, $50 million offer to Vanek, which included FOUR first round draft picks to Buffalo because he is still a restricted free agent. Four first round picks. FOUR. And a 7-year deal. For $50 million.

Not to be outdone in the genius department, Buffalo GM Darcy Regier then matched the offer, which Vanek, likely realizing the impossibility that anything this balls-out amazing will ever happen to him again, is sure to sign. His pay last year was $942 thousand. This coming season he will make $5 million, and that's just the beginning. The breakdown of his income over the length of the contract, in millions of dollars, will be: 5, 5, 6.4, 6.4, 6.4, 6.4, 6.4. That's right. No matter how good he becomes---or how bad he gets---Vanek is guaranteed to make over $6 million for five straight seasons, starting in 2009-10. Bear in mind that he's only had one good season in his limited NHL career. He could still totally choke.

Obviously, so-called "small market" teams like Edmonton and Buffalo are not exactly short on cash to throw around, just short on brains.

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July 5, 2007

Ryan Smyth Is Very Rich

Or, if he's not already, he really will be when he starts cashing checks from the Avalanche.

Adrian Dater at the Post was generous enough to share the full details of Smyth's new contract with the Avalanche:

This season, Smyth will make a base salary of $5 million, and he received a additional $2.5 million signing bonus. His salary for the following four years will be $7.25 million, $6.5 million, $5.5 million and $4.5 million. His averaged cap number salary for the full term is $6.25 million.

So this season, including the signing bonus, he'll get paid $7.5 million, followed by a whopping $7.25 million next year, which, barring any huge free agent signings next July 1st or another 100+ point season from Joe Sakic, will almost guarantee that Smyth will become the Avs' highest paid player.

Not too shabby for a guy who hasn't scored more than 70 points a season. I wonder if he's in the market for a personal assistant...

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Domo Arigato Mr. Svatos



After receiving a qualifying offer early this week from the Avalanche, restricted free agent winger Marek Svatos decided against arbitration and re-signed with the team today.

Svatos, you may recall, made a big splash in 2005-06, his rookie season, when he scored 32 goals in just over 60 games. This past season, however, he never quite found his place on the team and sucked something awful. A frequent healthy scratch, he finished with 15 goals and 30 total points. To say his sophomore performance was slumptastic doesn't begin to cover it.

But Svatos isn't a lost cause. He's obviously got offensive potential, it's just that he has to be paired with the perfect linemates in order to shine. He's not physical, he's not good defensively, and when he doesn't have the puck he generally looks lost on the ice. But when he does get the puck he can work magic.

The Avalanche now has three full-time right wingers---Milan Hejduk, Ian Laperriere and Svatos---and will likely either fill the remaining spot with a standout rookie from training camp (TJ Hensick Jaroslav Hlinka, perhaps?) or will soon make a move for a veteran grinder (Dallas Drake, maybe?). At any rate, barring any huge surprises from training camp, the Avalanche roster has just about been filled out.

Hopefully Svatos can regain his past goal-scoring touch and stop sucking, or the Avs will have to find somebody to take his spot---again.

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Avalanche Stuff Watch™

Another slow news day in the NHL, especially since the major free agent signings have come and gone. So, in order to avoid talking about the ongoing clusterf-ck in Nashville, I'll post another installment of the reader-favorite Avalanche Stuff Watch™!

Item #1 (a and b):

Chris Drury made big news this week by leaving Buffalo and the Sabres' co-captaincy behind for the urban caverns of New York City. He might now be playing with the Rangers, but you can still get your hands on authentic, game-worn Drury jerseys from his time with the Avalanche! And even better, you have more than one to choose from. Prefer his #37 assignment from the 2000-01 Cup year? Or maybe you like his #18 jersey a little better. Or maybe, just maybe, you have $2750 just lying around and can afford both. What's holding you back?

Item #2:

Nothing says "classy guy" like pleather apparel. Women melt at the sight of it. If you want to seriously upgrade your wardrobe, look no further than this Colorado Avalanche faux-leather men's jacket. And with a buy it now price of just $99, it's impossible to believe it's still on the market!

Item #3:

It took them a while, but finally Fathead.com has started producing hockey-related wall-hangings to match their huge inventory of enormous steroid-pumped football players. Number one on any Avalanche fan's list: a giant Joe Sakic. Sure, putting enormous pictures of grown men on your walls seems a little strange to your wife, but at $99, it's too good to pass up.

Item #4:

Hockey pucks make great collector's items. Hockey pucks with cool logos and photos on them are even better. If you're a puck fan like me, you'll definitely have trouble passing up this amazing find, now listed on eBay. That's right, it's a Colorado Avalanche puck complete with a lithograph of Peter Forsberg. Not only that, but it's arguably the worst picture of Foppa EVER! Only $4 if you act now. Hard to believe someone is actually trying to get rid of it, so take advantage of this great opportunity!

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July 3, 2007

Ryan Smyth Is Not Hockey Jesus



Though he shares a striking resemblance in the hair department (blessed be thy mullet), Ryan Smyth is not the second coming of Christ on ice. In fact, he's not even a superstar in the traditional vein of superstar hockey players. He's no Dany Heatley. He's no Alexander Ovechkin. He's not even Daniel Sedin.

But you wouldn't know that if you just read Colorado Avalanche fan message boards for info. Or looked at Smyth's contract---which involves him being paid more than $6 million a year for a very long time.

Ryan Smyth is a down-low, in-the-slot grinder who specializes in tip-in shots and goalie screens. He's gritty and offensively gifted, and has great "hockey sense", but he's not a winger in the style of Teemu Selanne, the speedy, nimble sharpshooter who can score from anywhere on the ice. For an Avalanche example of that type of winger, Milan Hejduk (in his prime) comes immediately to mind.

Ryan Smyth is not that kind of guy. In fact, he's not all that statistically impressive in general:



He's never scored more than 70 points in a season, and in his 11-year career, he's only scored more than 30 goals four times. If he's worth $6 million just based on statistics alone, it's not hard to imagine somebody like Sidney Crosby earning $15 million when his contract with the Penguins eventually comes up for renegotiation. Maybe that's okay in baseball, but it can't work in the NHL.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like Ryan Smyth and think he'll make an excellent addition to the Avalanche roster, especially on a line with Paul Stastny and Milan Hejduk. Each player brings a different, complimentary style of play to the ice, and combined they could do a lot of damage (in theory, of course). But Smyth is not the best player in the NHL. He's a great leader, a gritty winger, and generally a good person to have in a locker room. Just don't get any ideas that he'll be vying for the Art Ross Trophy at the end of next season, or that the Avalanche will instantly become a Cup contender the second he steps on the ice.

His mullet, however, is unparalleled.

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July 2, 2007

Joe Sakic's Secret Weapon: Hot Phone Sex


original photo courtesy of Flickr user Elan Photography


Who says Joe Sakic is a silent leader? It seems "Quoteless Joe" did plenty of talking to Ryan Smyth, since the newly-signed Avalanche winger says a phone call from the Colorado captain played a major role in his decision to leave the Islanders for Denver.

Says Smyth of the call,

"It was like the icing on the cake ... Joe as everybody knows is a world-class player, he's a future Hockey Hall of Famer. The guy handles himself with a great deal of class. There's no question he was an influence on it.''

Captain Joe doesn't have to say a lot. He's the strong, silent type. But when he does, his fellow players just melt like warm butter in his hands. Like soft, silky butter, flowing like sweet honey through his strong, manly hands...


I'll be taking a cold shower if anybody needs me.

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Bertuzzi Returns Home To Daddy Burke

You just can't keep them apart. They were born for each other.

Brian Burke, GM of the Anaheim Water Fowl, has made the move to bring Todd Bertuzzi back into his nest, reuniting them for the first time since their tenure in Vancouver, two seasons ago. Sure, that period of time was punctuated by one of the most despicable acts ever perpetrated during an NHL game EVER, but what's ruining a guy's career between friends?

Anyway, no details yet, except that it is supposedly a 2-year contract. How wonderful.

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Avalanche Clinches Deal With Ryan Smyth, Mullet-Lovers Everywhere



Gritty winger Ryan Smyth, he of the flowing mane and illustrious nickname “Captain Canada” (complete with Canadian Tuxedo?), will sign a 5-year deal with the Colorado Avalanche at an average of $6 million a year. The high-scoring former Oiler/Islander will fit in well with the Avalanche offensive system and should provide a much-needed presence deep in the slot, receiving dead-on passes from either Paul Stastny or Joe Sakic as a member of either the top or second line. Or both. Or maybe Smyth will just levitate above the ice like Hockey Jesus and toss pucks into opposing goals using only his mind. Judging from the overwhelmingly positive response among Avalanche fans, you’d think he could do that.

Smyth reportedly received competitive offers from 10 teams, including the Islanders, who acquired him last season from the Oilers at the trade deadline. The Avalanche apparently made the most appealing pitch, however. The Islanders now have nothing to show for their initial deal, which cost them two future prospects and a high draft pick. They also lost Jason Blake (40 goals) and a couple of other decent players which means their playoff days are likely done for a while.

There is no doubt that Ryan Smyth will have a positive impact on the Avs this coming season. If he doesn’t, he can join Jose Theodore on the bench, where overpaid underachievers get to hang out during Avalanche games. Theodore, whose deadline for being bought out passed yesterday, will be resuming his role as the highest-paid backup goaltender in the NHL this coming season.

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Blues Likes ‘em Short, Oilers Caps Likes ‘em Swedish

TSN reports that the speedy but smallish Paul Kariya has left the collapsing wasteland of Nashville for the already-collapsed wasteland of St. Louis, signing a three-year deal with the Blues. Kariya’s not the superstar he used to be, but he’s still quick and still productive. Can’t ask for much more than that.

Michael Nylander, a high-scoring center with the Rangers last season, has decided to try out the icy tundra of western Canada, signing an undisclosed deal with the Edmonton Oilers. The Rangers won’t miss him much, considering they signed centers Scott Gomez and Chris Drury on the first day of free agency signings.

UPDATE: Initial reports were false. Nylander has signed a 4-year contract with the Capitals, filling the huge gap at center that team has suffered for some time.

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July 1, 2007

"Big D" Scott Hannan Added To Avalanche Blue Line

The Avalanche landed the big d-man they were after by signing Scott Hannan to what TSN reports to be a 4-year, $18 million deal. Hannan, a 6-1, 225-pound heavy hitter will add much needed size and grit to the once-soft Colorado defensive pool.

While the contract, at over $4 million a year, seems a little bloated to me, it's still relatively cap-friendly and leaves the Avs with plenty of money to clinch the deal with Ryan Smyth.

No new details on that, however.

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Center-Happy Rangers Sign Drury, Steal Avs' Favorite Ex-Girlfriend

TSN just posted news that the Rangers have also signed Chris Drury (in addition to Gomez) for five years and $35 million. That's some depth at center, no doubt. Looks like the Hockey Stud won't be returning home to Colorado ever again.

This is much worse news for the Sabres, though, since they lost both Briere and Drury to Eastern Conference rivals they will have to play four times each.

Such is life.

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Gomez Disses Jersey For NYC, Ryan Smyth In Talks With Avs

ESPN just reported that Scott Gomez has agreed to a 7-year deal with the Rangers, one of the main rivals of the only team he's ever played for: the Devils. No money details yet.

Also, the Fourth Period has reported twice that Ryan Smyth is ironing out a deal with the Avalanche, which would be a major move on Colorado's part, adding offensive depth to an already potent team. No confirmation as of yet, though.

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Briere To Flyers, Rafalski To Wings, Jesus Himself Still Considering Options

At least, it seems like everybody---even Baby Jesus---is in the free agent running today. The signing orgy continues, with Daniel Briere agreeing to a whopper 8-year deal including a "no move" clause with the Flyers (for $52 million). To fill the hole left by Mathieu Schneider, the Dead Wings have signed Brian Rafalski, a Michigan native. Too bad, I kind of liked him.

There was some talk about Yanic Perreault being pursued by the Avs to improve their face off percentages, but that didn't pan out because he just signed with the Blackhawks.

Oh, and speaking of 'Hawks, former Avalanche forward Brett McLean (who started his career with Chicago) has signed with the Florida Panthers along with Richard Zednick.

No word yet on Ryan Smyth, Scott Gomez or Chris Drury, the three big boys yet to go.

UPDATE: Smyth is rumored to be on the cusp of a multi-year deal with the Avalanche.

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Dead Wings Lose Schneider To Water Fowl



First big free agent to go:

Mathieu Schneider, an aging but still-capable blueliner with the Red Wings last season, has signed a two-year deal with the Ducks for $5.5 million and $5.75 million. Always good to see the Dead Wings lose a talented player.

Could this be a sign that Scott Niedermayer is indeed retiring?

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