“Bettman has only a marginal interest in the weaker teams. He only wants the NHL to make a bigger profit as a whole.” -- Dominik Hasek

October 6, 2007

Crosby Fails To Score In First Penguins Game, Considers Seppuku


photo courtesy of Gerry Broome/AP

If Sidney Crosby fails to score at least 200 points this season, the world could very well end. The seas could boil, the skies could fall, and the Earth could reverse its natural rotation.

Knowing that he'll never really be considered a decent player unless he surpasses Wayne Gretzky's dozens of NHL records, rumor has it that Crosby is severely traumatized by his failure to score a single point in his team's loss to the Carolina Hurricanes yesterday. Reliable sources (these two homeless guys I gave a quarter to on the street) report that Crosby is considering Japanese ritual suicide should he fail to score at least an assist in the next game he plays.

It's unfortunate, but that's really the only option Crosby has. If he fails to fulfill the endless hype and expectations placed upon him by the hockey media, well, he might as well just stop living.


Ballhype: hype it up!Digg!

2 comments:

Jacob Dunman said...

I mentioned over in Steel City Hockey of the Penguins-related hype, but focused on defenseman Kris Letang that no one could shut up about in the off-season. You may have missed him in the game, since he is currently playing for the Baby Pens.

I hate the over-hype the Penguins have been getting, because it will be impossible to live up to all of it. Until Crosby kills all the other Highlanders, that is.

There can only be one, baby.

Dear Lord Stanley said...

I'll add your new blog to the DLS blogroll.

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