photo courtesy of Richard Lam/AP
Jeremy Roenick still hasn't gotten the memo. He's too old to still be playing hockey in the NHL. Everybody seems to understand this but him.
On the same night that fellow AARP member Bill Guerin scored three assists for the Islanders, Roenick led his new team, the Sharks, to a 3-1 win over the Vancouver Canucks by scoring two goals. Both were against Roberto Luongo (the most perfect goaltender in history, EVER), in case the significance hasn't yet set in for you.
The goals were Roenicks' 496th and 497th overall. If he were to score three more, he would become only the third American-born player to reach the milestone of 500, following Joe Mullen and Mike "don't call me Willa's bitch" Modano. Retirement communities around the country are no doubt rooting hard for Jeremy.