Dear Lord Stanley...

April 10, 2007

The Playoffs?! !

With the Avalanche out of the playoffs, it's tempting to just ignore the whole NHL post-season and find something else to do, like watch baseball or take up playing golf. Tempting, but totally impossible. Who are we kidding?

Most hockey blogs are now posting their half-brained post-season predictions, saying things like "Sharks in Six" and "Senators in 10 Years" and such. We're not going to play that game, since everyone knows that predictions are worth nothing once the pucks start dropping. Seriously, who picked Edmonton and Carolina to be in the finals last year? Don't lie. It wasn't you either.

So, we'll take another route. Without a home team to root for this year, we've decided to choose two new "favorite" teams, one from the Eastern Conference and one from the Western Conference, for the sake of fairness.

But how do you choose a couple of new favorite teams? What do you look for? Geographical proximity? Quality of roster? Aesthetic strength of uniforms? Raw sex appeal? The process can be very complicated, obviously.

In the East, we decided to pick arguably the most exciting team in all of hockey, a team that has completely turned itself around in just one season on the backs of the most talented crop of young players the NHL has seen in a long time. With youth comes sex appeal, and this team definitely has it in spades. Studs barely over the age of 18 who score all the time, hot Russian mail-order husbands, you name it, they've got it.

In the West, the only criteria the team really had to meet was "Do the Red Wings hate them?" The answer is a resounding yes! The team we chose is both underrated, under-appreciated and the Dead Wings hate their guts with a passion. Even better, two of their players used to play for the Avalanche. That's good enough for us!

Obviously, the teams aren't too difficult to figure out.

So, without further ado, the newly-crowned OFFICIAL NEW FAVORITE TEAMS OF DEAR LORD STANLEY for the 2007 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs are:

AND

- Pittsburgh Penguins - - - - - - - - - - Nashville Predators -

We'd love to see these teams win their conference championships and face off in a finale that lasts no fewer than seven games. And we'd love to see Sidney Crosby try to grow a playoff beard. Talk about entertainment!

Go Preds! Go Pens!

April 9, 2007

Farewell Forever, Dear Floppa

Please allow us here at Dear Lord Stanley to go on the record ONE MORE TIME by saying that the Colorado Avalanche, unless he agrees to play for free, should NOT re-sign Peter Forsberg to any kind of contract whatsoever. Forsberg is no longer the star he once was. He's good, but he's not worth the price and not worth the uncertainty. He's getting older, slower and before long the three remaining tendons in his body are going to explode.

Let some other team shell out a ton of money for him and then panic when he collapses in game four of next season with some kind of new physical affliction that puts him on the bench for three months. Let some other team struggle to fill a gaping hole in their offense when the "star" they thought they acquired turns out to be just a rickety old man unable to play more than 60 games since 2002-2003.

Wipe the nostalgia and petty emotion from your eyes and shake the cobwebs out of your head. THINK. Forsberg's time in Colorado is over, and no amount of money thrown down the bottomless pit that are his bad ankles will bring back the glory days of 2000-2001. Forget about it. Move on.

Time to look forward, not back.

Postseason Housecleaning

Now that the season is officially over for the Avalanche, and before we get caught up in all the playoff hoopla, we here at Dear Lord Stanley would like to share with you our recommendations for free agent signings and free agent cuttings. Below is the list of players we think the Avs should re-sign to new contracts as well as the dead weight we think the Avs should dump prior to next year.

Without further ado:

And...

Word on the street is that Super Joe has already agreed to a new deal, which comes as no surprise whatsoever. And despite other rumors that he would like to finish his career in Vancouver (some day, probably in 2034), we highly doubt it. The Captain is here to stay until he is no longer able to score 100 points in a season---which could be a very long time from now, by the looks of it.

UPDATE: It's not a rumor anymore.

Colorado 6, Calgary 3 (The REAL End)

At least they went out on a high note. Not a Dan Hinote, but a high note nonetheless.

The Avs beat the Flames handily in a come-from-behinder that included Joe Sakic reaching 100 points, Jose Theodore actually winning a game, and rookie hero Paul Stastny recording a goal and an assist.

And to top it all off, Ian Laperriere beat the living crap out of Flames Doucheman Dion Phaneuf for a cheap-shot on Dear Lord Stanley favorite Tyler Arnason.

photo courtesy AP/Jack Dempsey (how fitting?)

Said Lappy:

"Nineteen players out of 20 on their team knew exactly how the game was going to be played: play hard but don't be stupid. At the end, it was a stupid hit. We don't want to hurt them going into the playoffs and nobody wants to get hurt going into the summer. You can play hard and smart, but he decided to take a run at Arnason and I felt it was the place to tell him it's not right.

"You just can't do that. You've got to respect the game because it's going to come back and bite you."

Too bad the game itself didn't really mean anything...

Except this: The team that deserves the eighth spot the most will not be in the playoffs this year.

For the first time in my entire life I'm actually rooting for the Dead Wings to win a playoff series. I hope Detroit crushes the Flames in four games, all shutouts, and reminds them that literally backing into the playoffs with the help of a ridiculous one-point-for-an-overtime-loss system will not cut it in the NHL. Destroy them, Dead Wings.

Just make sure you lose the next round, of course.

April 8, 2007

3 Best, 3 Worst

As just one of Dear Lord Stanley's end-of-the-season wrap-up entries, we submit to you our three favorite Avalanche players of the 2006-07 season as well as our least favorite three players. As a side note, players who spent most or all of the season on the injured list can't be considered as "least favorites" out of fairness.

3 Favorites and 1 Honorable Mention:

Joe Sakic (The Captain never lets us down)
Paul Stastny (The Future Captain has been a true revelation)
Peter Budaj (he deserves to start every game of next season)
and
Tyler Arnason (played far above his ability in the final 20 games)

3 Least Favorites:

Jose Theodore (really, is any elaboration necessary?)
Marek Svatos ("sophomore slump" doesn't even cover half of it)
Antti Laaksonen (who?)

Nashville 4, Colorado 2 (The End)

Of course the Avalanche would lose at home against the Predators on the same night that the godforsaken Edmonton Oilers beat the Flames. Of course Colorado's playoff hopes were dashed one day before a final showdown with Calgary for the eighth playoff spot in the Western Conference.

The Avs played super hard against Nashville but just couldn't stem the tide. It would be fitting that two former Colorado players, Peter Forsberg and Paul Kariya, would play roles in their demise. Arguably Paul Kariya doesn't count as a former Av (dismal single season played with the team), but you know what we mean.

So the magical run ends.

Let's review the lessons learned here, shall we?

1. Don't wait to become a competitive, even dominant team until game 65 of the regular season.

2. Do get to know your teammates and play together like you actually care about each other's success from day one.

3. Don't count on young sophomores (Svatos) to carry the goal-scoring weight early in the season when veterans (Hejduk) should be leading the way.

4. Do give your home-grown goalie talent (Budaj) a chance to succeed from day one, instead of shunning him for out-of-town dead weight.

5. Don't ever trade anyone for Jose Theodore. Ever. Ever ever ever ever ever.

6. Do play your hearts out every night of the season.

Next season the Avalanche have lots to look forward to. Young players continuing their development as stars, a now-proven starting goalie with success to build upon, a returning veteran captain still at the top of his game, and a coach who has shown he can motivate his players even if it all came a little too late.

The Avs should be ashamed of themselves for not making the playoffs, but proud that they worked so hard in the end and hopeful for far more success next year. And in the name of Hockey Jesus, bring back the avalanche warning siren to the Pepsi Center for every home goal scored!!

April 6, 2007

Frei'ed Chicken Wings

Terry Frei, Denver Post columnist and ESPN.com contributor, says that even if the Colorado Avalanche don't make the playoffs this year (which is still quite likely), the team has a lot to look forward to next season since a lot of salary cap space will open up and there are numerous talented prospects coming up through the system.

He's right. But there's one premise of his article---something he mentions twice and obviously takes for granted---that we here at Dear Lord Stanley just can't swallow:

Going into the final weekend, the Avalanche are still long shots to catch the Flames for the eighth and final spot, a position that most likely would earn them the right to be thrashed by the Red Wings in the first round.

Followed later by:

The best scenario is Colorado wins its final two, finishes on a 16-1-2 run, but barely misses the postseason. Then, it ends with a "wait-'til-next-year" flourish, not a loss to the Red Wings in the first round.

So it's a foregone conclusion that if the Avs make the playoffs, they are destined to lose against the mighty Chicken Wings, the proud defenders of America's Worst City™.

But if the Avs do make the playoffs, it will be because of a 16-1-2 run over the last 19 games of the season, which includes wins over really good teams like Vancouver, Buffalo, Minnesota, San Jose and yes, Detroit. With the exception of Minnesota, the Avs beat each of those teams on the road, too. In their last ten games, the Chicken Wings are 4-2-4, including losses to powerhouse teams like Columbus, St. Louis and Chicago.

To think that the Avs, undoubtedly energized by their incredible late-season run and successful clinching of the final playoff spot in their final game, would somehow immediately collapse against Detroit is ludicrous.

Detroit is one of the most overrated teams in the entire NHL, bolstered in the standings by scoring easy points over the Blue Jackets, Blues and Blackhawks, their pathetic under-achieving division-mates. The Avalanche play eight games each against teams like Minnesota, Vancouver and Calgary, and haven't been dominated by any of them all year, even before their ongoing late-season run even started.

The Avalanche have proven over the past month and a half that they can beat any team in the West, and Detroit has proven that they are inconsistent at best. Frei's assumption that Colorado would fall easily to the Wings in the first round defies all logic. If the Avs make it to the playoffs, I say bring on the Chicken Wings, and bring on the napkins. Bigfoot will be dining well.

The MasterDater Strikes Again

Denver Post writer Adrian Dater gave Peter Forsberg a textual hand job today.

Says Dater:

On Saturday - barring another of the countless injuries that added frustration to the awe fans felt toward him - Forsberg will return to the Pepsi Center for the first time as a visiting player with the Nashville Predators.

The Avalanche have missed him. The fans have missed him.

Yeah, let's run through the list of things the Avs and their fans have missed since Floppa took off for the not-so-greener pastures of Philadelphia last season:

1. A constant string of injuries that minimizes his impact nearly every season.

2. A reckless, physical style of play that frequently results in unnecessary penalties as well as the frequent injuries mentioned above.

3. Constant rumors almost every season that he reserves the right to jump ship and move back to Sweden at any time, depending on his mood at the moment.

4. Poorly-maintained facial hair that periodically threatens to take over his entire face, rendering him completely blind---and not even during the playoffs.

Dear Lord Stanley may be the only one, but this blog is glad to see Forsberg on any other team than the Avalanche. When he was healthy, he was often great, but he's past his prime, nearly physically destroyed and completely unreliable over a full season. All he'd be now is a financial burden for the Avalanche.

The best "welcome home" the Avs could give him and his Nashville Predators is a hardcore beat-down in the form of a 0-5 shutout loss. Maybe afterward, Mr. Dater could personally "console" poor Floppa himself.

Coloardo 3, Vancouver 1

photo courtesy Chuck Stoody/AP

The impossible continues to be the norm as the Colorado Avalanche beat the Vancouver Canucks last night while the Calgary Flames lost to the San Jose Sharks, keeping Colorado in the race for the playoffs and closing the gap between them and the Flames to just three points.

Milan Hejduk scored all three Colorado goals and rookie phenom Paul Stastny assisted on each. Hejduk, who played like he was half asleep for most of the year, has scored ten of his 34 goals since February 27, when the Avs began their desperate run for the final playoff spot. Stastny, who set the NHL record for rookie scoring streaks at 20 games earlier in the year, has scored two goals and five assists in the last four games.

Still standing in the Avs' way are Nashville and Calgary themselves, not to mention a win by Calgary against Edmonton on Saturday that would mean the end to any remaining chance of a playoff spot.

The farther the Avs go, the more potentially painful a Colorado loss or a Calgary win becomes.

And still the question remains: Why the hell didn't Colorado win like this during the rest of the season? Why did they wait until game 65 to remember how to play like the championship teams of 1996 and 2001?

Part of me wants to be proud and impressed by the Avalanche, but the rest of me is nothing but frustrated and disappointed. Hopefully next season they can play like this from the very start. Anything less is unacceptable.

April 5, 2007

Worst Case Scenario

It is true that if Colorado loses to Vancouver tonight, their playoff hopes are over. It is also true that if Calgary beats San Jose, the Avs' playoff hopes are over. Either of those possibilities is depressing enough for most fans, but the real worst-case-scenario won't reach its pinnacle until Sunday.

Pretend for a moment that the Avalanche beat the Canucks tonight, say 11-1 (we're pretending), and the Flames lose to the Sharks. Then, the Avs beat the Nashville Predators at home and the Flames lose again, this time to Edmonton (really, we're still pretending). That sets up a true showdown as the Avalanche face the Flames---at home---in the final game of the season on Sunday. The Avs would trail the Flames by only one point, and would need to win (even if it's in overtime) to surpass the Flames and claim the final playoff spot in the Western Conference.

Pretend that all of that happens, and the final showdown really does take place.

And now pretend that the Avs blow the game and lose, missing the playoffs on the final day after a phenomenal 14-2-2 run over the last 18 games of the season. Now, wouldn't that be depressing?

It's amazing the Avalanche have made it this far and still have a chance. The only consolation, I suppose, is that if the NHL had never adopted the ridiculous policy of giving one point to a team that loses in overtime, the Avs would currently be only two points behind Calgary instead of five. But enough pretending already.

April 4, 2007

Rookie Mistake

Paul Stastny, look out!

photo courtesy Jeff McIntosh/AP

Try not to lose your head. The Avs need you to have a long and healthy career in the NHL, young Son Of Stastny.

Colorado 4, Calgary 3

Joe Sakic can no longer be considered human. In a must-win situation last night, he led the Colorado Avalanche with four points, scoring the eventual game-winning goal and assisting on every other goal scored by his team. He now has 95 points on the season, and he's 37 years-old. The man doesn't age.

Paul Stastny was one of the other goal-scorers for the Avs and fellow rookie Wojtek Wolski tallied an assist. Peter Budaj was less-strong in goal than he has been on other nights, but he was still better than the Flames' Miikka Kiprusoff.

The Avalanche had to win, and they did. Now they have to win all three remaining games, and pray for the Flames to lose theirs. It's still not over for Colorado, but they're definitely still not in the clear.

April 3, 2007

Seriously, WTF?!

You can't watch an NHL game on ESPN, but you can watch JUMP ROPE COMPETITIONS.

Are they serious?! ESPN, the sports network to end all sports networks, did away with all coverage of professional hockey after the lockout of 04-05, including the popular NHL 2Night highlight show. Instead, they now air poker, dominos, competitive eating and jump rope competitions. You can't tell me that jumping rope pulls more viewers and more ad money than professional hockey.

Holy crap.

Moment Of Truth

Tonight is the night. At 9:00 PM Eastern Time, The Colorado Avalanche play the Calgary Flames (in Calgary). If the Avs win, they keep their slim playoff chances alive. If they lose, the season is effectively over.

The good news is that the Avs continue to play very well, and Peter Budaj, despite a brief hiccup in his performance due to fatigue a couple games back, has been consistently strong in net. He'll need to be, since Flames goalie Miikka Kiprusoff has been at the very top of his game lately as well.

Should be an exciting game, regardless of the outcome. But since we're not totally impartial here at Dear Lord Stanley, there's just one more thing to say: Go Avs!

April 1, 2007

Colorado 2, Minnesota 1

The Avalanche beat the Wild with a come-from-behind scoring drive in the second period, and Peter Budaj was dominant. But the Flames won again and remain seven points ahead.

The reality of the situation is this: The Avs can make the playoffs only if 1) they win all four remaining games of the season (including two against the Flames themselves) and 2) Calgary loses all four of their remaining games with no more than one overtime loss. Otherwise, it's all over.

Let's just say the odds aren't in Colorado's favor, unfortunately.

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