Gratuitous Tuesday Returns!

It's been so long. I hope we're never apart like this ever again.

First off, Willa Ford has graduated from the lower ranks of "hockey girlfriend" to the higher echelon of "hockey wife" by finally marrying Mike Modano. That's great for her, but what is he going to do when all that Playboyity wears off of her? Poor guy. At any rate, at least the wedding spawned some horrendous celebrity web site headlines. Gross.

Hilary Duff, current owner of Mike Comrie's manhood, decided to avoid all the hub bub in Las Vegas during the MTV Music Awards and instead took refuge in Toronto, where all celebrities go to get nasty when Vegas just won't do.

In legal news, Rich Tocchet got two years of probation for being a bookie douche bag, but his alleged partner/confidant/gambling buddy Janet Jones-Gretzky was never in any danger of being charged. That's great for her, and keeps her steroid-loving husband happy, too.

Finally, Mats Sundin has a hot new girlfriend, and apparently it's huge news to the Toronto Sun, just like it should be. Nothing is more important than how somebody's short-term trophy girlfriend looks in a hoodie and sweat pants. Rowr!!

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