“Bettman has only a marginal interest in the weaker teams. He only wants the NHL to make a bigger profit as a whole.” -- Dominik Hasek

November 16, 2007

Laraque Tries To Kill Puck, Accidentally Scores Goal

Georges Laraque, the massive, intimidating enforcer for the Pittsburgh Penguins, was just trying to do his job. He is the hired "protector" of superstar Sidney Crosby, and he's good at it. Arguably the most dangerous NHL "heavyweight" since Bob Probert, Laraque is well-known for his pugilistic superiority.

Last night, Laraque was on the ice in the second period with Crosby, keeping the opposing Islanders players in check when suddenly he noticed something fishy.

"Georges was just skating around and noticed something attached to Sid's stick," said a Penguins teammate who requested to remain anonymous. "He wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed to be annoying Sid because he kept batting it around on the ice. Georges then watched as the little object suddenly turned and came straight for him. All he did was hit at it, trying to beat it up, but he knocked it into the net instead and a big horn sounded!"

Laraque, not realizing that he was actually hitting a hockey puck instead of an opposing player's face, inadvertently scored the game-winning goal for the Penguins. The goal was his first in 40 games, proving that he is a true asset to a team struggling to win games on a regular basis. The victory was the first in five games for Pittsburgh.

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