Vancouver Canucks Barely Out-Suck The Edmonton Oilers

photo courtesy of Jonathan Hayward/AP
The Vancouver Canucks were barely able to surpass the lousiness of their Northwest Division rival Edmonton Oilers last night, losing a scoreless game in a shootout, 1-0.

Losing to an offensively-retarded team that only managed 19 shots on goal---most of them weak and easy to stop---is a tall order, but the Canucks were able to make it happen, rewarding the hard work of goalie Roberto Luongo with another pathetic defeat. Sure, they earned a point by dragging the game to overtime, but at least they still failed to score a goal in regulation.

"It's tough to go out there every night and not score a single point, but sometimes we get it done," said an anonymous Canucks player rumored to be center Henrik Sedin. "Roberto looked great out there tonight, so we had no choice but to give him absolutely no scoring support. That's the kind of teammates we are."

The Oilers, on the other hand, gained two points on the Minnesota Wild, who are in second place in the Northwest and who Edmonton plays tonight. This matchup will prove to be another exciting, scoreless game filled with frustrating neutral zone traps and toothless, uncoordinated offensive attacks. Western Conference hockey at its very best!

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