“Bettman has only a marginal interest in the weaker teams. He only wants the NHL to make a bigger profit as a whole.” -- Dominik Hasek

August 8, 2007

Bobby Orr Needs A Movie

The greatest athletes in professional sports eventually get movies made about them. Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Jim Thorpe, Tiger Woods, Muhammad Ali, etc. Make a big enough impression on your respective sport, some day you'll get a biopic in your name.

It's high time we saw a movie about Bobby Orr.


Statistically, Wayne Gretzky was the greatest hockey player of all time, but hockey fans know, deep down, that the title of "The Greatest" really belongs to Bobby Orr. In the current NHL, where defensemen either shoot all the time or defend all the time (never both), a true two-way player like Orr no longer exists. Ray Bourque may have been the last of that rare breed. Orr transcended all positions, and revolutionized the game long before Gretzky ever came around.

So, it's obvious Bobby Orr needs a movie. A big movie, a Hollywood blockbuster to draw in American fans and really pump interest in the sad but hopeful NHL.

The obvious question: who would play Orr?

In order to ensure box office success, it would have to be a popular, youngish superstar, healthy enough to play a convincing athlete but still relatively good-looking to pull in the ladies. The obvious choice? Matt Damon.

Matt Damon is not only the hottest commodity in Hollywood right now, but he happens to look a hell of a lot like Bobby Orr. Damon has boyish good looks much like Orr did throughout his career. Rowr. And of course, Damon is also very athletic, which would make portraying a super-skilled hockey player like Orr all the easier.

So, it's clear: Bobby Orr needs a movie and Matt Damon needs to play Bobby Orr. How could that possibly be a bad idea?

As you go to ponder my true genius for a while, I leave you with this, a great example of Bobby Orr's genius on the ice, both offensively and defensively. Truly the greatest hockey player ever.




Ballhype: hype it up!Digg!

9 comments:

The Forechecker said...

Actually I've thought for a long time Damon could also play a young Gordie Howe, whose life story could also make a great movie...

Draft Dodger said...

Buccigross agrees with you Joe (with bonus Craig-Conroy-is-a-dickhead photo)

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id=2693954

Draft Dodger said...

hey, look at me H-TEE-EM-EL SKILLZ

Dear Lord Stanley said...

Now if I could just get Bucci to agree with me that making the nets larger is a f-cking stupid idea, I'd be all set.

The Dark Ranger said...

The Dark Ranger Applauds Lord Stanley!

Mike Thompson said...

Y'know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the $h!t in this one!

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this, as a huge hockey fanatic, but Bobby Orr looks like Eli Manning more than Matt Damon.

FAUXRUMORS said...

1) Not going to argue the merits of calling Orr the best all time. Its debatable and largely depends on your generational bias.
2) Having said that, we're admittedly not very knowledgeable about Orr's bio. Other than his amazing on-ice accomplishments during a sadly abbreviated career, what compelling drama occurred during his life that a movie could capture?
3) It would seem to us that a movie about a guy like Mario Lemieux might be more interesting? His on and off ice exploits for the past 20 years would make an interesting film. We're NOT Penguin fans, but having seen both he and Wayne in their primes we believe he was superior to Waynederful in overall skill.
4) Given the low TV ratings and overall apathetic/sometimes hostile view of ice hockey here in the states, we doubt any big Hollywood studeo will be doing any big hockey productions any time soon. Interesting idea though!

Anonymous said...

no question or was greater, because he was a one man wrecking crew. the problem orr had was he literally skated with one bad leg for about 95% of his career. i've read quite a bit on him, and orr was so humble that he curtailed his abilities on the ice. he could do things in practice that others simply were unable to do, things that would appear supernatural in their skill level. if you catch a glimpse of orr before his first knee injury in he nhl, he is literally skating all over the ice with the puck, blue lines be damned, with players in chase. the impression i had was his talent was so great he simply didn't know what to do with it, so he just went up and down the ice. but that genius only lasted for about 2 months, then he had his first knee injury. a real shame, orr comes around like pele and tiger. once in a long time.

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