Hartley Rewarded For Hard Work As Coach Of Lousy Team

Bob Hartley is not a bad coach. He won a Stanley Cup with the Colorado Avalanche back in 2001, so obviously he has talent behind the bench. But, looking at the lineup of that team, even Wayne Gretzky could have coached the Avs to a championship.

I kid the Great One, I kid.

But back to Hartley, today the Atlanta Thrashers fired his ass because they haven't managed to win a game yet this season---the only winless team in the entire NHL. It's not uncommon for a hockey team to fire their coach when they can't win any games. But is it really Hartley's fault? The team isn't exactly stacked with talent. It's not exactly stacked with anything except a bunch of guys who are either too old to still be playing or belong in the AHL. Hossa and Kovalchuk are pretty good, but Hossa's injured. One guy can't carry an entire team.

So, is it fair to fire a coach when the front office doesn't give him all that much to work with? Hartley has proven in the past that when given a lineup almost totally filled with All-Stars, he can win a Cup. Why is it so hard for Atlanta to provide that for him?

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Bear With Me

Due to a severe lack of spare time, and my contractual obligation to keep Mile High Hockey up-to-date and as active as possible, Dear Lord Stanley will be taking a week two days or so off---not that it hasn't kind of done that already.

Bear with me while I pull my head out of my ass and get things together. Thanks.

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Gratuitous Tuesday

The Flames could use some serious cheerleading after going 0-1-1 in their first two games under new coach "Iron" Mike Keenan. Even worse, both games were at home, where Calgary is usually very strong. Scott Burnside lays it out for us in the final paragraph of this article.

On the opposite end of the luck spectrum, enjoying some of the best of his life, Mike Comrie continues to have a big impact on his New York Islanders team. In the first two games of the season, Comrie scored two goals, including two game-winners. Things must be going really well for him these days. Though he didn't get a goal against the Capitals last night, Mikie Poo is still playing really well. I bet there's something (or someone) to blame for all of his strong play lately.

Finally, it's been known for a week now that former American Idol cast member Kellie Pickler has broken it off with Predators douche bag enforcer Jordin Tootoo. But her luck as a single girl isn't turning out like she probably planned. She's getting some action, sure, but in all the wrong places. Hang in there, Kellie, hang in there.

My door is always open, except when Elisha is over.

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Paul Stastny Asks, Who's YOUR Daddy?

Paul Stastny has quite a legacy to live up to. His dad, Hall of Fame player for the Quebec Nordiques (with a brief stint on the Devils), was Peter Stastny.

Who's Sidney Crosby's dad? Is he in the Hall? I think not.

Though it's obviously a tall order, Stastny doesn't seem to be having any trouble following in his dad's footsteps. Last season, he finished second in the Calder voting for Rookie Of The Year (behind some kid named Malkin). This season, well, he's doing slightly better.

Stastny scored five points (1g, 4a) against the San Jose Sharks on Sunday night, which, combined with his hat trick in the first game of the season for his Colorado Avalanche team, brings him to eight total for the year. In three games.

In case you're bad at math, Son Of Stastny (as I call him) is on pace to score 219 points this season. I can see absolutely no reason why he wouldn't do so. It would only be a three-fold increase of his point total from last season, which is completely normal for a second-year player. Oh, and 219 points would set a new record, replacing some other guy with a "y" at the end of his name.

Son Of Stastny will not be denied.

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Roenick Defies Critics, Geritol Addiction, Scores Two Goals For Sharks

photo courtesy of Richard Lam/AP
Jeremy Roenick still hasn't gotten the memo. He's too old to still be playing hockey in the NHL. Everybody seems to understand this but him.

On the same night that fellow AARP member Bill Guerin scored three assists for the Islanders, Roenick led his new team, the Sharks, to a 3-1 win over the Vancouver Canucks by scoring two goals. Both were against Roberto Luongo (the most perfect goaltender in history, EVER), in case the significance hasn't yet set in for you.

The goals were Roenicks' 496th and 497th overall. If he were to score three more, he would become only the third American-born player to reach the milestone of 500, following Joe Mullen and Mike "don't call me Willa's bitch" Modano. Retirement communities around the country are no doubt rooting hard for Jeremy.

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Crosby Fails To Score In First Penguins Game, Considers Seppuku

photo courtesy of Gerry Broome/AP
If Sidney Crosby fails to score at least 200 points this season, the world could very well end. The seas could boil, the skies could fall, and the Earth could reverse its natural rotation.

Knowing that he'll never really be considered a decent player unless he surpasses Wayne Gretzky's dozens of NHL records, rumor has it that Crosby is severely traumatized by his failure to score a single point in his team's loss to the Carolina Hurricanes yesterday. Reliable sources (these two homeless guys I gave a quarter to on the street) report that Crosby is considering Japanese ritual suicide should he fail to score at least an assist in the next game he plays.

It's unfortunate, but that's really the only option Crosby has. If he fails to fulfill the endless hype and expectations placed upon him by the hockey media, well, he might as well just stop living.

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Get On With It!

All that London bullsh-t aside, the NHL season gets started tomorrow night. I've got my subscription to Center Ice Online, various refreshments, my game-time apparel and my alternative outfit if the first one gets overly soiled---you know, from the beer. Or whatever.

Now all I need is a nice group of young, attractive ladies to watch the games with. Oh, wait, I meant these ladies. Oops.

Because I'm so excited about the upcoming season, I'm not doing a Gratuitous Tuesday post this week. There's just too many other things to think about than some cheap, skanky, totally inappropriate pictures posted for no reason whatsoever. I'm not going to stoop that low this time. No sir.

So get ready for the season to get going, and look out for the best year ever from Dear Lord Stanley. Or, if not the best, at least the most likely to get you fired from your job.

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Avalanche Bloggers Have Too Much Spare Time

The numerous and talented Avalanche bloggers on this here net of inters have combined forces. The result, the first ever Avalanche Blogger Roundtable. Nine blogs, eleven bloggers, and the answers to eight important questions you probably never thought to ask about the best team in the NHL.

The center of all the action is my other blog (the good one), Mile High Hockey.

Be sure to check it out. You've got nothing better to do, right?

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