Hero Watch™: Tony Reali Silences Woody Paige

Six minutes into the ESPN show Around The Horn yesterday, the panel was discussing game 3 of the NBA Finals, a low-scoring, low-rated affair that was generally accepted to be one of the worst in league history. Once the conversation had shifted to Denver Post columnist Woody Paige, he complained about the dominance of defense in the game and called for the NBA to eliminate one player from each side, adopting a permanent 4-on-4 scheme similar to overtime hockey. Immediately, host Tony Reali responded in disbelief and then cut Paige off with the mute button. Said Reali, "You've been covering the NBA for the better part of 40 years, Woody Paige, you want them to change the rules like that?!"

Video clip here for those with ESPN360 access.

Tony Reali reacted to Woody Paige's idiocy in the only appropriate way---he cut his mic. You're an idiot, end of discussion.

The same should happen to every hockey columnist who suggests sweeping rule changes and the abandonment of tradition in the NHL just to score an extra goal or an extra quarter-point in the TV ratings. In hockey, no rule---no matter how old or how logical---is safe when an extra goal per game can be tacked on to the scoreboard. Any gimmick, no matter how cheap, is on the table. Shootouts? Snug-fitting jerseys? Kicking pucks in the goals? Wider goal posts? You name it, the NHL will try it.

Baseball survived the onslaught of the TV era by sticking to tradition. The players didn't, but the game did, and the rules today are nearly identical to the rules 60 years ago. Basketball, with the exception of the three point line and the dunk, hasn't changed much either. By adhering to tradition, these sports create a sense of permanence that transcends fluctuating TV ratings and a few bad tournament games.

Woody Paige is just one of many hockey columnists who promote snake oil quick fixes when faced with the tiniest in-game annoyance. The dialogue in the NHL is controlled by two-bit marketing hacks who care nothing for the sport they waste our time covering. Enough. Tony Reali, you're my new hero.

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Hero Watch?

Well, it's no secret that I'm not a big fan of ESPN.com hockey columnist Scott Burnside. We've had our differences in the past.

I know my scorn and distaste for him weighs heavy on Mr. Burnside's soul. I know he lies awake at night. I know he cries.

In what can only be considered a desperate plea for my forgiveness, Burnside posted something actually worth reading on Monday, and it's nothing less than a bold defense of low-scoring playoff hockey. Whodathunkit?

Now, hands up for those who saw the New York Rangers and Buffalo Sabres play three straight 2-1 games, two of which went to overtime in the second round. Drama? Oh yeah -- Chris Drury's tying goal with 7.7 seconds left in Game 5, and the overtime power plays and chances. Think anyone in Madison Square Garden or in HSBC Center cared there were nine goals scored over the course of those three games? No. Only writers, it appears, who unfortunately perpetuate the myth that more goals mean more excitement and fewer goals mean an inferior product.

Um, one thing, Mr. Burnside. It seems that one of those writers that has "perpetuated the myth" that more goals should be scored in order to improve the game is you.

Even in his best effort to get on my good side, Burnside blows it. Such is life.

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Hero Watch

Tom Jones of the St. Petersburg Times is my latest hockey media hero. He begins as such:

Right now, you have a choice most nights of watching either the NHL playoffs or the NBA playoffs. To us, it's no contest. The NHL playoffs are way better than the NBA playoffs.

And it gets better from there as he counts down the top ten reasons why the hockey postseason is way better than a bunch of freakishly tall guys throwing balls at a peach basket just barely above their freakishly large heads.

His number one reason: it rhymes with "schmovertime."

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Hero Watch

I just started a little series called "Crybaby Watch" in an effort to identify (and ridicule) prominent hockey columnists who needlessly whine and complain about insignificant incidents or aspects within the game of professional hockey. A bonus if they also call for sweeping rule changes as well. If they needlessly bitch about something NHL-related, I'll bitch about them.

But, sometimes, that rare columnist breaks the mold and and actually compliments the National Hockey League and the magnificent sport of ice hockey. It's rare, but it happens.

Case in point, Washington Post sports columnist John Feinstein:

One thing people should understand about overtime playoff hockey: There's nothing like it in sports. Only in hockey does the game end -- BOOM! -- in an instant. One rush, one mistake, one slip by the goalie -- and it's over. It doesn't happen that way in basketball or in football or in baseball. Oh sure, those games can end on a single play, but frequently they don't. In hockey, they ALWAYS do and you sit on the edge of your seat not knowing when that moment may come.

He even praises overtime! Oh the horror! Oh the humanity!!

So, just as I've used the title "Crybaby Watch" to label any negative hockey-related sports writing I happen to find on the Internets (it's not a dump truck!), I will use the alternative "Hero Watch" to document those who rise above the pity party and point out why hockey is in fact awesome and why the haters are full of crap.

Good work, John Feinstein. You're my very first hero.

(Thanks to Off Wing Opinion and Jibblescribbits for pointing out the article)

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