photo of a whiny baby courtesy of Jeff Vinnick/Getty
Man, have you heard about the coolest new trend in the National Hockey League? It's called "illegal play with intent to injure," and all the kids are doing it. Sure, if you get caught you get a time-out, like those three Flyers players. And Chris Simon got a pretty long suspension for hitting some guy in the face with his stick, but Simon's a cool guy and that other loser needs to toughen up.
All that London bullsh-t aside, the NHL season gets started tomorrow night. I've got my subscription to Center Ice Online, various refreshments, my game-time apparel and my alternative outfit if the first one gets overly soiled---you know, from the beer. Or whatever.
Now all I need is a nice group of young, attractive ladies to watch the games with. Oh, wait, I meant these ladies. Oops.
So get ready for the season to get going, and look out for the best year ever from Dear Lord Stanley. Or, if not the best, at least the most likely to get you fired from your job.
Get the coffee and the donuts ready, there's gonna be a meetin'! The NHL owners will meet today in the NHL's Board Of Governors meeting in Chicago. What better place to discuss ruining the league even more than in a city that boasts a ruined hockey franchise? These metaphors write themselves, people.
The big topic on the agenda will be the ludicrous scheduling format the league has endured for two years and that will run its course again this season. Last year the move to drop the format lost by one vote, and Eastern Conference teams generally favor the division-heavy set up. Because they're incredibly selfless, those teams will likely vote in favor of keeping the format once again. The owners won't actually vote on it until December, though.
Also to be discussed: league expansion. Just when you thought things couldn't get any dumber in Nashville, just wait until the league sets up shop in Kansas City and Las Vegas. Even though other cities like Seattle and Winnipeg will also be brought up, my money is on Gary Bettman granting franchises in stupid places rather than smart places. That's just how he rolls, ya'll.
Maybe while they're at it, the owners could widen the goals, change the jerseys again and maybe strike a television rights deal with Versus for another decade. Why stop at expansion and bad scheduling?
Jeremy Roenick retired earlier this summer. Then today, he unretired. That's how he rolls, get used to it.
Roenick, who put up a truly dominant performance last season with the Phoenix Coyotes (70 games, 28 points), could no longer resist the unceasing calls for him to stay just one more season in the NHL. He has signed a one-year deal with the San Jose Sharks, who apparently no longer have any interest in finding young, talented players.
Roenick used to be good. Not only did he score a lot of goals, he also caused a video game sensation by being the best player by far on the hallowed Sega Genesis game NHL '94. Even with a humble 87 rating, he crushed the opposition and scored at will. I can't count the number of times I broke Wayne Gretzky's skull with a Jeremy Roenick elbow check and made Curtis Joseph look stupid with a ridiculous breakaway deke.
Those were the days when Roenick was a hockey god. Now, not so much.
All he really has going for himself now is a legacy of loud-mouthed buffoonery and silly antics. Granted, Roenick's got about 15,000 times more personality than anybody currently playing in the NHL (other than Captain Charisma himself, Sidney Crosby). After he drops dead on the ice sometime in late November he'll truly be missed. By somebody I'm sure.
NOTE: Due to the Labor Day holiday, there will be no Gratuitous Tuesday post this week. Unless I suddenly become far more mature in the next seven days, that feature will resume as normal next week.
Even though the Denver Post reported that Pierre Turgeon was on the cusp of announcing his official retirement from the NHL back in June, it appears the would-be Hall of Famer has finally gotten around to it.
According to varioussources, Turgeon will officially announce the end of his hockey career on Wednesday.
Though he did score 1,327 points in 1,294 games, his lack of a Stanley Cup ring and any substantial hardware other than a Lady Byng has some wondering if he'll make the Hall Of Fame cut. I'm sure he will, but just in case, I offer this trophy as a parting gift. Nice knowing you, Sweet Pete.
Dear Lord Stanley is a big fan of Pavel Bure. He's A-OK.
But those dirty bastards at British Airways don't recognize the grand legacy of embarrassed goalies he left back on the ice of so many North American hockey rinks. In fact, they don't recognize him at all. Last October, Bure was barred from boarding a flight from Moscow to London because the pilot believed him to be a soccer hooligan.
Though I'm unfamiliar with the intricacies of British Airways passenger profiling techniques (here in America we only bar people who look Arabic), I imagine the pilot was just a little paranoid in his assumption that Bure was on his way to England to throw chairs and break bottles over the heads of Manchester United supporters. But you never know.
Anyway, a Moscow district court ruled in favor of Bure, awarding him 67,000 rubles for his troubles, which British Airways will now have to pay, even though they weren't represented at the hearing because their lawyer was sick. Or maybe poisoned. Such is the legal system of Russia, it seems.
At any rate, Dear Lord Stanley congratulates Bure on his victory and hopes he will use the money to buy a new knee so he can come back and play in the NHL.
When I hear the name Las Vegas, the very first thought that comes to my mind is hockey. The hot weather, the complete lack of snowfall, the legalized and rampant gambling...how could a person NOT think about the National Hockey League when they think about Las Vegas?
In an effort to satisfy the panicked frenzy for hockey among local residents, Harrah's (the casino and hotel giant) is selflessly planning to construct a brand new arena just off the Vegas Strip by 2010. It's not about money. They just want the puck-crazed populace of Sin City to be happy.
What's curious about the stadium plan is where it will be located. Despite being only one block east of the Strip, the black heart and twisted soul of Las Vegas, it will actually be outside city limits, thus crushing the mayor's dreams of having a "downtown" arena. Like Vegas has a downtown anyway.
Gary Bettman's plans won't be crushed, though. He's no doubt happier than a pig in, well, you know what. After all, nothing could be more in line with his grand vision of never-ending NHL expansion than a major league ice hockey team based in a city that has no winter, no local water supply nor any significant precipitation at all, let alone snow. How could that possibly be a bad idea?
If they need a good name for the team, I have a suggestion: The Craps.
It's Friday, it's the off-season, and it's a slow news day. Because of this, I'll take the time to explore a little bit of recent hockey history to pass the time.
The careers of most great artists can be divided into "periods," long or brief spans of time in which they explored different styles and techniques and then moved on to something greater or different. Picasso had, among others, his "Blue Period" and then later his better-known "Analytic Cubism Period." Pollack had his "Springs Period" and later his famous "Drip Period."
If you consider great goal-scorers in the National Hockey League to be artists, then Pavel Bure should be considered the greatest hockey artist of the 1990s. His creativity and skill with a puck outclassed his opponents year in and year out. In two consecutive seasons (1992-93 and 1993-94), the young Bure scored 60 goals with the Vancouver Canucks. In 1997-98, after a lockout and some injury problems, he scored 51.
All great artists must change their surrounding environment sometime, and Bure did just that when he was traded to the Florida Panthers in 1998-99 after refusing to play for Vancouver any longer.
This, his "Florida Period," saw Bure mature as a player and develop into a true scoring phenomenon. In a league dominated by defensive plays like the trap and the collapsing box, Bure had no trouble racking up the points. In 1999-00, he scored 58 goals. In 2000-01, he scored 59 goals and 92 points---on a horrible team where the second-best player, Viktor Kozlov, scored only 37 points.
Bure was a true master. Unfortunately, his career was cut short by chronic knee injuries, and his true potential was never fully realized, despite his career total of 437 goals in 702 games.
In order for everyone to grasp the greatness of Pavel Bure, I submit to you a sample of his work during his superb "Florida Period." Enjoy.
I have to admit, my original post about the lovely ladies, or "Puck Bunnies," of professional hockey piqued my interest. Well, it piqued something. But in the pursuit of full disclosure, I must confess I was intrigued by the idea of hockey players having groupies. Hockey players are pretty boring, you know.
In my research of the subject, I stumbled across an entire underworld of actual and would-be hockey groupies, a whole Puck Bunny community, dedicated to drooling all over attractive (and unattractive, sorry TooToo) professional hockey players.
There is at least one sociological research paper written about Bunnies, though I'm not sure I understand how they can be just a myth since I've written multiple blog posts about them.
All in all, a fascinating subculture of the hockey world. I guess you could label me a "Bunny Watcher" as well, though I prefer "creepy stalker." Has more of a ring to it.
Brian Burke, Anaheim Ducks general manager, likes a good scrap. He's a big fan of having mindless brutes on the ice and he's a big fan of unleashing those brutes on unsuspecting, smaller men.
With this in mind, Edmonton Oilers GM Kevin Lowe better frickin' check himself before he wrecks himself.
"Edmonton has offered a mostly inflated salary for a player, and I think it's an act of desperation for a general manager who is fighting to keep his job."
Apparently, the term "gutless" was also used by Burke to describe his Edmontonian counterpart.
Oh snap!
It's obvious, at least to Dear Lord Stanley, that Lowe better watch his back from now on. Burke is known for sending enforcers to do some dirty work now and again, and Lowe just might find himself face down on the ground with a broken neck.
Dustin Penner, on the other hand, will probably just find himself a lot richer but stuck playing in cold, unforgiving Alberta for a really lousy team instead of sunny Anaheim playing for a really good one. Such is life.
I know some people probably resent the term, but the girlfriends and wives (and groupies) of professional hockey players have for a very long time been referred to as "Puck Bunnies". I'm sure this is the first and only term used to belittle women in the entire history of sports. But I digress.
Lately, the only consistent headlines hockey players have been getting have been relationship-related. Six young and not-so-young ladies in particular have become the talk of the hockey world as of late.
In an effort to accurately document the important issues facing the National Hockey League, I will take the time to explore each of these ladies and the reason for their recent notoriety. I'm selfless like that.
Bunny #1: Hilary Duff
Hilary Duff is an actress. Or she's a singer. Or maybe she's both. I wouldn't know for sure because I don't listen to music or watch movies (takes time away from watching hockey), but I'm told she's a very talented person. She's also reasonably attractive. She also happens to be dating a nice young man named Mike Comrie, who until he was signed by the Islanders a couple of weeks ago, played hockey for the Ottawa Senators. The only mildly interesting thing about their budding relationship is that they hit it off first on a trip to Idaho. Idaho? Holy crap hockey players are boring.
Bunny #2: Willa Ford
Willa Ford was on Dancing With The Stars opposite some dude with a mullet. Before that, she was in a little-known men's magazine called Playboy (NSFW). I've never heard of it either. Currently, she's engaged to marry none other than American hockey hero Mike Modano, and she likes to tell people by flashing the gigantic ring he was likely guilted into buying her. But anyway, she took all her clothes off and posed for pictures a couple of years ago---I assume to promote herself as a serious, talented individual with opinions worth considering. Some of those opinions garnered a little attention recently. I'm sure Mike is proud. Mike might not be proud of the 80 or so pounds Willa has packed on to play Anna Nicole Smith in a biopic nobody really wants to see, however. Ugh.
Who the hell is Kellie Pickler? Ms. Pickler (hee hee) was an early-season reject from American Idol a year or two (or three or whenever) ago and since then the only thing she's managed to do with any kind of fanfare is date Nashville Predators resident jerk Jordin Tootoo. Apparently they're totally in love. Anyway, the only thing really interesting about Ms. Pickler is the strange transformation her chest area has undergone in the past couple of months. Interesting.
Bunny #5: Carol Alt
Carol Alt isn't getting any younger. She used to be a really hot model back in the 1980s, but since then she's transformed into quite a cougar with a penchant for lazy, greedy hockey players who are much, much younger than her and just totally misunderstood. She recently made the papers for bravely defending her unmarried domestic partner Alexei Yashin from his many, many, many detractors. Go get 'em, cougar.
So, the question for you is, who's the hottest? Do newcomers Duff and Pickler have a youth advantage? Does Willa Ford take the cake because she's totally willing to get naked for money? What about established and sophisticated veteran bunnies like Carol Alt and Janet Gretzky? Or does pure, unadulterated (but worth the adultery) hotness make Elisha Cuthbert the runaway champion? You decide.
The Staal brothers, specifically Eric of the Carolina Hurricanes and Jordan of the Pittsburgh Penguins (there are in fact other Staals), have each made huge splashes in the NHL in the past two years. First it was Eric with his 100 point season and Stanley Cup victory in 2005-06, then it was Jordan with his league-leading 7 shorthanded goals and Calder Trophy nomination this past season.
Well, over the weekend they also took the small resort town of Lutsen, Minnesota by storm. After what witnesses describe as a rambunctious bachelor party, the brothers and fellow celebrators were arrested for disorderly conduct. Oh, and underage drinking, too, since Jordan is still 18.
The Cook County Sheriff's Office said the brothers were among 14 arrested last weekend after authorities received several complaints about "screaming, yelling and playing loud music" at the resort in northeastern Minnesota, about two hours from the Staals' hometown of Thunder Bay, Ontario.
The sheriff said the group was warned multiple times before finally being ordered to leave the Lutsen Resort and Sea Villas in Lutsen, at which point the men gathered on a nearby highway and "began harassing motorists." That's when authorities arrested the group, around 4 a.m. Saturday.
Seems like your average out-of-control party thrown by multi-millionaire professional athletes to me. It doesn't even compare to the recent troubles faced by players in the NFL or refs in the NBA. Mere disorderly conduct is for pansies.
Well, except that this isn't your typical disorderly conduct. Apparently, the Staal brothers---being the well-behaved, responsible men that they are---weren't even awake when police busted up the noise fest. They're totally innocent, honest:
[Staal agent Rick] Curran said the brothers were among several partygoers who went to bed when authorities first gave the group a warning, and when authorities returned to kick the entire party out of the resort, they first had to wake the Staals up.
"What is unfortunate is at the end, the entire group was asked to leave the hotel, including Eric and Jordan and some of the others that had gone to bed when the first warnings came in," Curran said. "They were asked to go to bed, and they did. ... A couple of the kids kept going. That's what caused the continued disturbance."
The Staals obviously suffer from the well-known affliction called Narcoleptic Asshole Disorder Syndrome (NADS). Sufferers typically experience periodic bouts of unruly, disruptive behavior and then immediately and uncontrollably fall asleep afterwards. Sometimes the condition also creates alcohol fumes within the body which emanate from the mouth for no reason at all. This medical mystery afflicts many other celebrity victims, including Nick Nolte.
Seriously though, nice try, Staal brothers. Just admit that you guys throw the best parties this side of Thunder Bay and ride the notoriety for a while. Maybe Paris or Lindsay will join you guys for the next photo shoot.
It has been common consensus for some time that the NHL is on life support. Games can only be found on a lousy, hard-to-find, b-list cable network, the ratings suck anyway, ESPN doesn't cover hockey because the sport is lame (rather than their lack of a vested interest in its promotion), and attendance at most arenas is down. All in all, the National Hockey League sucks and nobody in the United States cares about it.
Maybe nobody watched or attended the actual games last season because they were spending all of their time buying crap tons of NHL merchandise online. The league reports that their online merchandise sales have increased for ten straight seasons, and this past year was the best ever---47% more sales than the year previous. The two individual teams with the biggest gains in merch sales: the Sabres and the Ducks. The most popular individual player jersey: some young stud named Sidney Crosby. I've never heard of him either.
So nobody cares about the NHL but licensed merchandise sales have increased dramatically. Maybe it's just the strong Canadian dollar, but last time I checked, the Sabres, Ducks and Crosby's Penguins were American teams. The Senators enjoyed strong sales after their impressive playoff showing, but nobody spent money like people in New York, California and Pennsylvania, not to mention the fans of 24 other NHL teams, most of which are US-based. Only three teams suffered losses over the course of the season, and while I have no doubt a couple of them were American teams (Coyotes and Thrashers, anyone?), at least one HAD to have been Canadian.
Seriously, who in their right mind would buy an Oilers jersey?
There's really no better way to put it. Expanding the NHL to include more teams (like in Vegas) or simply moving existing teams from one lousy market to the next is a terrible way to promote the sport.
What expansion does is dilute talent. There are a limited number of truly great hockey players in this world, and their skills are best showcased by playing on teams with each other. One superstar on a lousy team doesn't stand out because he's held back by his teammates who chuck lousy passes, bobble one-timers and more or less skate around without a clue. Florida comes immediately to mind, much to Olli Jokinen's dismay.
When a team is filled with true superstars, chock-full of great talents whose skills are multiplied by playing with each other, the fans come flocking.
As Eric at the Fanhouse pointed out yesterday, the Penguins have now been forced to create a waiting list for season ticket purchases because of out-of-control demand. Why is this, you wonder? Perhaps it has something to do with three young men named Crosby, Malkin and Staal. Three true superstars whose innumerable skills are even further multiplied by playing on the same team as each other. This is not a "problem" facing teams like Phoenix, who have nobody even close to superstar status and are already at a disadvantage by playing in a non-traditional market.
In an ideal world, the NHL would contract to at most 28 teams (but ideally 24), and concentrate the limited talent pool in fewer cities. Expansion would only further diminish the on-ice product. You want to know the real reason goal-scoring has been down in the past twenty years? Because too many teams were added. Back in the 1980s, it was easy for Wayne Gretzky to score 200 points in a season (and his team over 400 goals) because the Oilers had Mark Messier, Paul Coffey, Jari Kurri and Glenn Anderson. There were only 20 teams back then, and the talent was heavily concentrated.
In 1989-90, ten teams scored more than 290 goals---out of 21 total. In 1999-2000, zero teams out of 28 scored that many. It's not because the goalies got fatter or the creases were too large. It's because there weren't enough good players on each team.
Through contraction, the NHL could easily kill multiple birds with one stone: increase ticket sales, increase goal scoring, decrease team deficits in weak markets. Why make the goals bigger when you can just stack the offense full of superstars?
Too bad it's never going to happen. The league seems dead-set on further expansion at the expense of all common sense. We're all worse off as fans because of it.
As I've detailed (and lamented) before on the hallowed pages of this blog, many hockey columnists and NHL officials are convinced that goal-scoring is far too low and an increase in said goal-scoring would play a major role in attracting American fans to the league. More goals = more eyeballs, the theory goes.
With that premise firmly rooted in their minds, these columnists and officials see no better option than to simply increase the size of the nets, thus, theoretically, making it easier for shooters to get past the swollen goalies and score more goals. Which is a good thing, they say. The end-all, be-all of good things.
It's not a surprise that a league run by Gary Bettman, a former NBA executive, would favor such a scheme. In the NBA, goal-scoring is completely out of control. A typical final score for an NBA game is 129-109. Obviously, in professional basketball there are no goalies (goaltending is a foul play) and strong defense (and even the tiniest physical contact) is highly discouraged and/or penalized.
If Bettman really wants the NHL to mimic the NBA, there's really only one solution: ban goaltending. That's right, I said it. Quit screwing with the rules of the game, the lines on the ice and the size of the goals. Just ban goalies. No more Roberto Luongo, no more Martin Brodeur, no more Marty Turco. All teams would have to do is skate past the blue line, lob the puck at the net and hope no defensemen are in the way. Simple enough. We'd easily see final scores like 36-30 and 41-38, and the red light would constantly be flashing---which is a fail-safe recipe for league success, right?
Isn't that what everybody really wants?
As Greg at the Fanhouse pointed out, Martin Brodeur has quit the NHL Competition Committee out of frustration that nobody is listening to his concerns. The league should take this as an obvious sign that goalies are troublemakers and just do away with them altogether. We wouldn't have to worry about adding asterisks to the stats of any future goalies in a bigger-goal era---there wouldn't be any more goalie stats!
Dear Lord Stanley hereby officially endorses the banning of all goaltenders from the NHL, effective this coming season. There is no better way to ensure more goals scored, which is obviously an idea bigger than Jesus right now. Do it for Baby Jesus.
The official Dear Lord Stanley position on goaltending and the size of the nets is this: the dimensions of the goal should never change---the dimensions of the goalies should. I'm not alone in this, much to my surprise. In fact, I've even got actual NHL goalies (well, at least one) to back me up in a fight.
Phil Myre, a 14-year NHL vet and the current goalie coach of the Florida Panthers, thinks the idea of bigger nets is just a ploy by the NHL to scare the goalies back in line on equipment dimensions, not to mention a lousy strike against record-keeping:
"I think there's still some options to exhaust other than the drastic measure of making the nets bigger," said ... Myre ... "I think that should be the last straw to reintroducing offence, because not only is it going to be tough on goalies, it's going to destroy all previous stats.
"The net should be the last resort, because it changes the whole game. From the time that they make the nets bigger, they are going to have to have asterisks beside the stats."
He also thinks the netminders are fat and need a serious diet. What could the goalies do with less of? Gloves and huge chest protectors, says Myre. He points out that police officers can stop bullets with super-thin kevlar vests but goalies cling to enormous padded fat suits to stop thick rubber pucks. If official DLS patron saint Ken Dryden could be the best goalie in the NHL during the 1970s looking like this (barely bigger than the other players on the ice), why does Martin Brodeur get to look like Santa Claus with a mask on?
Make the goalies smaller, don't make the nets bigger. There's no argument as far as I'm concerned. If you don't agree, I'll set my boy Phil Myre on your ass.
Traditionally, NHL players have not been big on education, at least not education of the post-secondary type. Throughout the history of the league, teams have picked their draftees from the ranks of Canadian junior hockey, whose teams have no direct affiliation with academic institutions. Typical Canadian players, still the vast majority in the NHL, play junior hockey in high school and then go on to the minor leagues without cracking a single textbook again.
According to CSTV, however, the Avalanche has been the most successful team at breaking that tradition:
The Colorado Avalanche was the biggest drafter of college players in the 2001-05 drafts, selecting 21 players from the college ranks (this includes junior hockey players who later played college hockey).
Not only that, but while the Avs have not signed many underclassmen (those below their senior year of college), the two they have signed are working out well so far. David Jones, a junior at Dartmouth, just signed his first NHL contract and the other guy, somebody named Stastny, is a nominee for the Calder Trophy.
With other top university students like TJ Hensick and Ryan Stoa still working their way up into the pros, the Avs' willingness to target collegiate players seems to be paying off.
Not that guys from the juniors aren't successful. Sidney Crosby didn't waste any time sitting in college classes, that's for sure...
For his tireless work to promote the National Hockey League and further solidify ice hockey as the number one professional sport in both Canada and the United States, for his efforts to make Sidney Crosby and other young NHL stars more popular than Peyton Manning and LeBron James among regular folk, and for his unending dedication to concentrating player talent in only the strongest markets with the best attendance, commissioner Gary Bettman received a $2 million raise.
Except that he hasn't done any of that. And he still gets the raise.
I would have made a post about this yesterday but I was busy screaming and throwing things around my house in outrage. Will someone please tell me why the hell he didn't get $6 million?!
It's not easy to admit your vices, or, in my sorry case, addictions.
I'm addicted to the intricacies of professional sports uniforms. And amateur sports uniforms. And just about anything having to do with sports uniforms anywhere. I'm a hopeless devotee to the geekiest sports blog on the Internets (it's a series of tubes!)---Uniwatch. So, it being a slow hockey news day and me being obsessively addicted to "athletics aesthetics", I decided to browse the various archived photos of the Stanley Cup winners at Legends of Hockey.
I found some interesting variations in the assignment of the Captain and Alternate Captain letterings. I first noticed something strange in the team photo for the 1995-96 Avs (also pictured above). There are four alternate captains. I know three of them are Curtis Leschychyn, Sylvain Lefebvre, and Adam Foote, but I'm unsure of the fourth guy. At any rate, four seems like an excessive number, considering the standard in the league is two.
But that's not the only strange instance of "C and A" that I've found. The 2000-01 Avalanche had three alternates: Ray Bourque, Adam Foote and Peter Forsberg. The 1988-89 Calgary Flames had two captains: Lanny McDonald and Jim Peplinski. The 1985-86 Montreal Canadiens had three alternates, the first year that designation officially existed in the NHL, which is why the 1984-85 Edmonton Oilers have only captain Wayne Gretzky wearing a letter on his jersey.
That's just the Cup winners. Who knows what kind of weird variations of captains and alternate captains have existed in the 20 seasons since both designations became standard uniform attire? As just one example, I know some teams have gone captainless in recent years (the Penguins). I wonder what the maximum number of alternates has been, and on what team? Anybody know?
So what if several NHL teams are barely-watched from their actual arena seats, let alone on television? So what if the league itself is still the media's favorite whipping boy? So what if the talent pool is so diluted that some teams have to rely on just one really good player? It's time to expand, baby!
Word has it that Gary Bettman and his cartel of head-in-ass owners are interested in granting expansion teams to Las Vegas and Kansas City. Never mind the facts that Las Vegas is television market #51 and the majority of its workers spend their evenings staffing the casinos, or the truth that Kansas City has a great new arena but no proven demand for the sport. Forget the fact that there are already teams like Nashville, New Jersey, Phoenix, Florida and Atlanta struggling to keep their seats above three-quarters full. While you're at it, forget the already-failed US expansion scheme Bettman suckered everyone with the first time. There's quick money in it, so let's make the league bigger! Bigger than the NBA! Bigger than Major League Baseball! Even bigger than the NFL!
If the NHL needs anything, it's contraction. I'm in favor of dumping four teams and dropping the league to 26. Or, while we're at it, dropping to 24 would make for even-sized divisions. A subsequent rise in the salary cap (even if the rules have to be rewritten) and the concentration of teams in stronger markets with more talent to choose from seems financially sound to me, but then again, I'm no economist. Or, at the very least, move existing teams to the new markets---the Las Vegas Coyotes would still makes sense name-wise (it's a freakin' desert!) and it would really make Janet Gretzky a happy lady.
