Gratuitous Tuesday!!

I'm not really a fan of country music rising star Kellie Pickler (pictured to the right while at the American Music Awards), but I do wholly support her dumping Predators antagonizer Jordin Tootoo. That guy is a jerk, but in a "Sean Avery Lite" kind of way. I'm glad that Ms. Pickler is free to pursue other romantic possibilities. As in, me.

In other critically important news, Mike Comrie's much better half Hilary Duff has been all over the news lately, as usual. Near the beginning of the month she was seen being a very, very bad girl, providing young Mike with a series of very public lap dances, albeit fully clothed lap dances. Clearly impressed with her talents, Mike was then seen shopping for an engagement ring (under "Quick Hits"). Everybody knows that dating for six months is by far enough time to decide you want to marry someone.

Then, in the past day or so, Duff was seen at the Hollywood celebrity trash hole Hyde, hanging with friends until being "escorted out of the club" by an apparent buddy of Comrie's, whatever that means. This wouldn't be worth mentioning if Elisha Cuthbert wasn't also at Hyde that night, god bless her. I'm not sure what she's doing hanging out with fire crotch Shaun White, but I assume it's just for tips on snowboarding or something. And I won't even justify the rumors she's still messing around with Sean Avery. Elisha, please come home now.

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Gratuitous Tuesday

The Flames could use some serious cheerleading after going 0-1-1 in their first two games under new coach "Iron" Mike Keenan. Even worse, both games were at home, where Calgary is usually very strong. Scott Burnside lays it out for us in the final paragraph of this article.

On the opposite end of the luck spectrum, enjoying some of the best of his life, Mike Comrie continues to have a big impact on his New York Islanders team. In the first two games of the season, Comrie scored two goals, including two game-winners. Things must be going really well for him these days. Though he didn't get a goal against the Capitals last night, Mikie Poo is still playing really well. I bet there's something (or someone) to blame for all of his strong play lately.

Finally, it's been known for a week now that former American Idol cast member Kellie Pickler has broken it off with Predators douche bag enforcer Jordin Tootoo. But her luck as a single girl isn't turning out like she probably planned. She's getting some action, sure, but in all the wrong places. Hang in there, Kellie, hang in there.

My door is always open, except when Elisha is over.

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Gratuitous Tuesday: In The Duff

If there's one thing everybody in the entire world knows to be true, it's this: young, attractive, filthy rich celebrities really NEED very expensive presents from other rich celebrities.

Case in point: young Hilary Duff just celebrated her 20th birthday (god bless her) and her filthy rich boyfriend Mike Comrie came up big (so to speak). Obviously in the giving mood, he sprung (sorry) for a pretty impressive present. If there's one thing a 20 year-old girl needs more than anything else in the world, it's a $100,000 Mercedes SUV. If anyone can really appreciate the value of something like that, it's an almost-still-a-teen pop princess.

Anyway, it's not all glamor and fun in the world of Duffrie™ though (trademark Dear Lord Stanley 2007). No, sometimes they have to slum it out and get their hands dirty. Sometimes Hilary has to sit in the stands at Islanders games and watch Mikie Poo and his teammates duke it out with the entire Rangers team. And then watch him score the game-winner. What a tough life.

Let's just hope Hilary plays it safe in that new ride of hers. We wouldn't want to see her do something she'll probably regret.

I'd hate that.

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Gratuitous Tuesday Returns!

It's been so long. I hope we're never apart like this ever again.

First off, Willa Ford has graduated from the lower ranks of "hockey girlfriend" to the higher echelon of "hockey wife" by finally marrying Mike Modano. That's great for her, but what is he going to do when all that Playboyity wears off of her? Poor guy. At any rate, at least the wedding spawned some horrendous celebrity web site headlines. Gross.

Hilary Duff, current owner of Mike Comrie's manhood, decided to avoid all the hub bub in Las Vegas during the MTV Music Awards and instead took refuge in Toronto, where all celebrities go to get nasty when Vegas just won't do.

In legal news, Rich Tocchet got two years of probation for being a bookie douche bag, but his alleged partner/confidant/gambling buddy Janet Jones-Gretzky was never in any danger of being charged. That's great for her, and keeps her steroid-loving husband happy, too.

Finally, Mats Sundin has a hot new girlfriend, and apparently it's huge news to the Toronto Sun, just like it should be. Nothing is more important than how somebody's short-term trophy girlfriend looks in a hoodie and sweat pants. Rowr!!

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