Sidney Crosby Signs $95 Trillion Contract Extension With Penguins

Well, he won't make quite as much as $95 trillion, but it's pretty close. Sid The Kid has agreed to a 5-year $45 $43 million contract extension with the Penguins, which locks him up with the team until he becomes and unrestricted free agent just prior to the 2013-2014 season (at age 25). His cap number will shift from $850 thousand to $8.7 million.

Hot damn.

In a league where relatively low-scoring guys like Ryan Smyth and Chris Drury will make over $7 million dollars a season, it's hard to argue that Sidney Crosby doesn't deserve to earn even more than $9 million a year. Two years in the NHL, two 100+ point seasons. The youngest scoring champion, multi-100 pointer, Hart Trophy winner, team captain. The only thing he lacks is a haircut befitting a Penguin. Hair aside, in the realm of raw, unbridled man studs, the only guy arguably more raw and studly than Sid is Matthew McConaughey, and that guy's two steps from complete insanity.

Crosby is an asset the Penguins had to lock down---even if the salary cap takes a dive in the next few years and it eventually drives them bankrupt. At least Sid The Almost Middle Aged Old Fart will still be around, probably still scoring 150 points a season.